WEIRD IMPROVEMENTS

Grading Gravel Work Grave Digging

Dear Hank,
What is the weirdest job you have ever been asked to do?
Curious in Como
Dear Curious,
Some prevert called up and asked me if I would come over and help him paint his gazebo. I just plain hung up on him. I don't deal with weirdos.
Hank

Money Is No Object

CPR7

FOOTBALL'S COMING

Hi, R.E. Cline here with your Couch Potato Report. Usually it summer is a slow time with mostly golf and a little baseball but this summer has been a little different. I didn't say better just different.
There has been a lot of news and specials with all the well known people passing on and such. It is sad to see anyone die but when someone like Michael Jackson can't handle reality and takes too many drugs he shouldn't be idolized.
I would say the world will miss Walter Cronkite but we have been missing him since he retired and the spin doctors took over the news to push their liberal agenda. I don't want them to push the conservative agenda either. Here's an idea, just report the what happened and give the whole story and don't try to tell us how we should feel about it.
I reckon that could go for the president too. He is not doing such a good job on this economy thing that he should be advising local police departments on how to do their job. Here's just a thought I had, if I lock myself out and have to break into my house and someone calls the police I will gladly show him my ID, tell him anything he wants to know (in a very polite way) and even go down to the police station if he wants me to and then I will thank him for watching out for crime in my neighborhood. The way I usually handle any misunderstanding with the police is with a very nice attitude and I think that is why I haven't wound up on the NEWS.
What I haven't heard on the News is that they are forming a new Football League. The UFL is supposed to start play in October and I had to stumble across it on the internet to even be aware of it. Maybe Michael Vick and Brett Farve will both be playing after all. They are going to play on Thursday and Friday and I hope someone at the networks is smart enough to know that if they broadcast these games they will get a lot more viewers than with the garbage they have on now.
I'm R.E. Cline and if I was running a network there would be more Football, less coverage of celebrities that I never liked and the next News Anchor I hired better have the standards of Walter Cronkite or he would be gone.

YAAAY! MORE FOOTBALL

Skin Deep

GATORHEAD NEWSLETTER

A LOT HAPPENING

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Between thinkin' and workin' I've been busier than a pair of jumper cables at a redneck weddin'. I've been creatin' new characters and goin' in new directions while tryin' to keep the old ones active and with current events what they are there ain't no shortage of material to work with.
I guess you could say lately that my cup runneth over. The problem with that is someone still has to mop it up. Due to the production I have been neglecting some segments. There is a world of stuff for Hank to advise on and there will certainly be more of that. Comments and questions are welcome. Hank don't turn down many folks and he might just answer your questions right away and on the blog. Old R.E. Cline has not issued a Couch Potato Report for awhile even though he has appeared in some comics. You can probably look forward to some CPR in the future if he don't get too involved in watching football. (It should start in a couple of weeks.)
I'm still tryin' to increase my audience so if you can help out there anyway I shore would appreciate it. I don't mind if you print out my comics and put 'em on bulletin boards, office newsletters, or even local newspapers if you include my web address which is www.bolumpkin.com. The same goes to forwarding the posts. You can copy them into emails or post them on your own blog if you'll just put that link in there with it.
I also have an email list that I send the articles and comics too most days and if you would like to be added to that list just send me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or to bolumpkin@gmail.com and I will gladly put you on the subscription list. If you are getting them by email though you might want to check the site from time to time because some stuff, (especially weekend stuff), don't get sent out by email.
I reckon you might say that I am at a crossroads and I ain't too sure whether to concentrate more on writin' or drawin' comics right now. I reckon that will all get more clear as time goes on.
Be sure and check out the links in the upper right hand corner of the blog and visit their sites. They work real hard and do a great job too.
I'm Bo lumpkin and that's what I been thinkin'. Whatchall been thinkin'? Leave me a comment or write me an email. I really do like feedback and I'll probably get back to you with a response if you want one.
www.bolumpkin.com

bo@bolumpkin.com

Horse of A Different Color

Getting Crowded

Hopes and Dreams

SPECIAL REPLY TO READER QUESTION

Dear Hank,My son's truck has 2 flats and a flat spare. Is it really totaled or could it be fixed?My husband seems to think it is beyond repair.Please advise.

Just Asking from Abbeville

Dear Just,

These matters are a little more complicated some times. If your son has a real good job and is paying his own way you should jack it up and put a new truck under it.

If he is still at home and not workin' you might just want to tell him again about how you used to have to walk 5 miles to school in the snow, uphill both ways. You kin also tell him about your first vehicle, a bicycle, that you used to ride on your 15 mile paper route every day. By the time you get through telling all these sad tales he might just get tired of hearing it and learn how to use a plug and an air compressor.

Hank

Just Lunch

KEEPING COOL

Planting Plowing Plucking

Dear Hank,
I have added a new den to my home and my old air conditioning system is just not big enough to cool it and the rest of the house too. What I need to know is how many BTU's should my new air conditioner have?
Big and Beautiful In Belzoni

Dear Big,
Judgin' from the way you signed' your letter I would say you probably need enough B-T-U's to cool a B-U-T as big as a T-U-B.
Hank

CHOIR PRACTICE

New Character- Mildred

Cronkite Special

References

HELP WANTED

Hey, I will be hirin' me some help this week. Ya'll will have to come back tomorrow to see who I hire.

Percy Piggot

WE WILL GET YOU THE BEST GOVERNMENT THAT MONEY CAN BUY.

Still Working

Hi I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.

Actually I've been thinkin' and workin' and drawin' and writin' and tryin' to get some of the new characters ready for posting. While I'm doin' that I am also tryin' not to let the older characters get lost in the shuffle.

I also don't want to forget to remind you about the other links on the side of my page. These guys do a terrific job on their sites and I hope you check them out and read them regularly.

I am thinking of increasing my email list. If you would like to recieve the comics and articles by email and are not doing so please just leave a comment or send me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com. I will gladly add you to my mailing list.

If you are on my mailing list I would appreciate it if you would still check out the site from time to time. (It makes the numbers on my counter look better.)

I also want you to know it is okay to forward or email these posts to others. I would like for you to put the link to the web page at the bottom though: http://www.bolumpkin.blogspot.com/

I'm open to suggestions on improving the site. My hope and goal is to generate regular readers who enjoy the stuff and will keep coming back.

Thanks

Bo

Presidental Visit

SUNBLOCKER

Got Stupid?

Spackling and Grouting?

Painting Plumbing Pruning

Dear Hank,
My husband took two weeks vacation to remodle the upstairs but he has spent the whole first week in the bathroom spackling and grouting. Is there any way he can finish the whole job in two weeks?
Puzzeled in Pickens

Dear Puzzled,
I had that once myself. Sounds to me like a bad mess of greens. It could just be one of 'em viruses though but in either case I don't think he will be able to finish the job in two weeks. I wouldn' use that upstairs bathroom for a while if I was you.
Hank

HOT WEATHER WE'RE HAVING(Repeat)

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin' and I've been thinkin'. It sure has been hot out there the last few days but I just think it has more to do with it being summer than with global warming. There have always been heat waves and droughts and other long spells of bad weather. Odis Walker was telling me about the hottest summer he could remember. "Well, we had a terrible winter that year. It had got so cold that one of our two mules had froze to death and we were kind of glad the warm weather had come. Zeke was the mule who froze and the mule who was left was named Buck. Buck seemed to really miss old Zeke and it was just like a person who loses somebody close mournin' fer 'em.
He warn't much good for plowin' or no kind of farm work after Zeke died because he just didn't seem to be in the mood for it. We even borrowed a mule to hook up beside him and try to get him back to workin' but he wouldn't allow us to put the harness on the other mule. Every time we would try he would just turn and bite the other mule. We finally just gave up on him.
When it got hot summer we just kind of left old Buck alone, just hopin' he would get over his mournin' in time to pull the wagon for harvest. We hit a long hot spell where it got to be over a hunnert ever day for about three weeks and it was to where couldn't nobody stand to be out in. We put old Buck in the barn so he would at least be out of the sun. We had stored some popcorn in the loft of the barn and it got so hot that the popcorn started poppin' and drifting down through the cracks.
I reckon old Buck, being in the state of mind he was, was remembering the snow storm that killed old Zeke. When that popcorn started poppin' and fallin' through the cracks in that loft old Buck thought it was another snowstorm and he layed down right there in that barn and froze to death."
I guess I have told you that old Odis can spin a windy with the best of them.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'
Hey, Yall write to me:boZ@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.

Ya'll can leave me a comment. I made it easy for you.

MORE EXCUSES

Well, I have been busier than a cat's tail in a room full of rockin' chairs but I am makin' good progress. I reckon that is a lot like the airplane pilot who came on the intercom and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we're makin' good time. The bad news is that we're lost."

I ain't been lost but I have been kind of wanderin' aimlessly but I finally got somewhere. Tomorrow will be anothr (Repeat) but Monday I will be introducing Hank the Handyman. He is drawn and ready and he already has some comments and answers to home improvement questions. By the way he will welcome all comments and questions. You can just email them to me at
bo@bolumpkin.com or
bolumpkin@gmail.com

and I will make sure he gets them. You can also put your questions in the comment section.

I'm Bo Lumpkin and I am still thinkin'.

NEW CHARACTERS

I told ya'll I was working on some new characters. This is Percy Piggot who used to be the spokesman for Perfect Pork Products but since the economy has been so bad they began looking at him more like prouct than a spokesman.
Percy decided to become a lobbyist in Washington. What better place to be involved in the Pork industry?.
Coming soon will be an advice column from Hank the Handyman. Since Sarah Palin has resigned as Governor of Alaska and Joe the Plumber has dropped out of sight someone needs to be at work trying to straighten out the problems of this country. Hank might just be the person.
Buster the Biker (You may have seen him in some of the videos) will also be making an appearance in the comics sharing some of his profound observations.
Hope you enjoy these new features. The entire staff of Gatorhead Productions (me) has been working tirelessly to produce the very best for our readers (both of you).
Ya'll can leave me a comment or write me an email to
bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com

WHOS IN CONTROL?

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

EXCUSES

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
I just want to update ya'll on some things.
I know ya'll have been waitin' on the edge of your seats for the announcement of the winners of the Lumpkin Awards. Each category got about one vote and trying to computerize the total and find a winner caused my computer to become so frustrated that I had to take all my stuff off and reload windows. I am trying to find the software to reload all my other stuff. I have the data files but can't find all the program disks. Due to lack of interest (on your part and mine) there will be no Lumpkin Award announcements.
Due to having to have another medical procedure done I got a little behind on my productivity and therefore am running re-runs on weekends sometimes. Running the re-runs has caused the web-page not to load some of my post automatically that I have put up. I am working on trying to correct the problem. I thought I had it solved when I got one of those wireless cards to connect to the internet but it was too slow to work with and I had to take it back. I am now back to having to use public connections or go to a friends house.
Also after having had the procedure on my legs I feel good enough to do other stuff and don't have to sit around the house and that cuts into my computer time.
I just thought I would let ya'll know what's been goin' on so you would maybe understand when some things (like my email list) don't get out on time.
I hope ya'll will keep checkin' on what I've been thinkin' and will also let me know whatchall been thinkin' by leavin' me an email at bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com. Or you could just click on commments and leave a comment. It's real easy to do.

Just Be Patient

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

LET FREEDOM RING LOUD AND CLEAR THROUGH THE WHOLE LAND

Autopsy Results

NOTHING TO SAY

Medical Terms