Friday, August 29, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
I was talking to old Lonzo the other day and I told him he ought to do one of them credit card commercials. He has a mobile home, $20,000, a 4 wheel drive pick-up, $30,000 dollars, a bass boat, $40,000, a wife who has a good job and mostly supports him while he is a professional bass fisherman, PRICELESS.
There was another man there and he said he had told Lonzo that if anything ever happened to his wife he was going to let Lonzo pick out his next one.
I'm sure you have heard people say, "Well after he was made they broke the mold." Well I think Lonzo was made from one of the broke molds.
Lonzo was going to Florida for a bass fishing tournament and Maybelle told him while he was there to pick her up an alligator purse and some alligator shoes. When Lonzo got back he didn't have a purse or shoes. Maybelle asked him why he didn't bring them back like she asked.
"Honey," he said, "I'll admit there was alligators everywhere I went down there. Sometimes it was downright scary fishing around all them gators. I imagine I saw a hundred or more of them in all and they made me nervous."
"That don't explain why you didn't get me a purse and shoes," she said.
"Well, I didn't see a one of them carrying a purse and I shore wouldn't gonna turn one over and see if he had on shoes." he said.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', Lonzo sure better hang on to Maybelle because it ain't likely he'll ever find another one to put up with him.
Yall can watch my movies and my comic strips if you just go to the BO LUMPKIN MOVIES in blue up in the right hand corner of this page. It' ain't really hard so give it a try.
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Hi I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Sometimes it gets pretty hectic trying to do all the writin' and drawin' and movie makin' and some of the other things I do. That's why I'll probably put up a couple of articles each week and put up comics and cartoons the other days. I will try to have something new each day, except when I am hindered from doin' so as happens sometimes and also I won't have nothin' new on weekends and holidays. Sometimes I get so busy that I just don't know whether I'm comin' or goin'.
That reminds me of Boomer comin' by the other day. He always has some pretty deep questions and you have to really be on your toes around him.
He asked me, "Uncle Bo, Is it true that man came from dust?"
I told him that it was true.
"Is it also true that when we go that we will return to the dust."
I really didn't know where he was headed with all this but I told him I thought that was so too.
"Well, I was looking for something in Arlis's room the other day and I looked under his bed. He sure better watch out because I think there is someone either comin' or goin' under there."
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', I reckon we are all comin' and going both at some time or another.
Click on the BO LUMPKIN MOVIES in blue in the upper right hand corner if you haven't checked out the latest clips. I will try and let you know when any new stuff is there. Remember, I will know if you checked it out because it tells me how many people have watched it.
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Monday, August 25, 2008


There is a new comic filmstrip under the movies files. Just click on the words
BO LUMPKIN MOVIES in the upper right hand corner of this page. Just above the picture of me. Click on the NEW Comics folder and watch the video. Its simple.


Friday, August 22, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Boomer came by the other day for one of his chats. He was a little upset and a little peeved with his sister, Clymenestra the activist.
"Uncle Bo, I really don't know what Clymenestra wants out of life but she is pretty sure she don't have it. She's always upset about how things are goin' in the world and she's always complainin'. She borrowed my guitar and started tryin' to write songs to make her point, though I'm not sure even she is sure what her point is."
I asked him, "Do you mean Clymenestra has been composin' music?"
He shook his head, "Sounds more like it's decomposin' to me."
"Well, I guess there ain't much harm in tryin' to make the world a better place."
Boomer just looked at the floor and shook his head, "I reckon it's a big enough job trying to make myself a better person and I figure if everybody did that the world would take care of itself."
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. I hope I'm still around to vote for that boy when he gets old enough to be president.
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To watch my movies just click on the BO LUMPKIN MOVIES the top right corner of this page. Right above my picture

Thursday, August 21, 2008


I have noticed that no one checked out my new comic clip under the movies except 1 person. I think I have made it easier to find. You just click on the
BO LUMPKIN MOVIES in the upper right hand corner, right above my picture. I have made a new folder that I will put the new movies and comic strips in and that will make them easier to find. Just click on the folder and it will open up to the clip. Then just click on the clip and watch it.



Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Folks sure can have some strange things happen to 'em. Bodie's wife Claudette went away for a couple of weeks to get a little rest that the doctor had recommended. While she was gone Bodie and the younguns let the house get plumb run down.
I reckon Claudette did light into Bodie and the younguns somethin' fierce when she got home. They run the pigs out of the house and they started cleanin' that house from top to bottom. After they had it cleaned Claudette was on a roll so she told 'em they were going to do some paintin' and fixin' while she was still in the mood to make 'em do it.
You wouldn't believe how much better things look around there. Maybe that rest did Claudette some good. She was so pleased with everything that she just plumb forgot that they had painted the seat on the commmode.
The paint wasn't quite dry when Claudette set on it but it dried and stuck to her while she was in there. She called Bodie and he tried to pry her loose but finally had to take the bolts out of the seat and take here to the doctor to get it removed.
She slipped on a big old baggy dress, tryin' to hide the situation as much as she could. After sittin' uncomfortable for a while in the waitin' room she was finally called in to see the doctor. When the doctor asked the problem she pulled up her dress and bent over and said, "There it is doctor, have you ever seen anything like that?"
He just answered, "I've seen a bunch of them but I have to say that this is first one that I have ever seen framed?"
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
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To watch my movies just click on the BO LUMPKIN MOVIES buttin in blue up in the upper right corner of this page.

Monday, August 18, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
It is kind of hard to sit down with a youngun nowdays and tell them about how things was when your were young. They just don't understand some of the terms and you spend a lot of time explainin' what you are talkin' about.
I was tellin' my grandson about how we didn't have runnin' water in the house when I was real young. He asked several questions. I explained about having a water bucket and a dipper to drink out of and he handled that pretty well. He's pretty sharp though and he finally asked, "If you didn't have runnin' water how did you flush the commode?"
Let me tell you, he got wide eyed and interested when I began to explain about the outhouse, especially the catalog we used instead of the tissue you buy in the grocery store. I wish I could have took his picture. He was plumb wide eyed.
He sat there for a few minutes and then he asked, "How did you take a bath?"
I began to explain that we would fill a number 3 washtub with water and let it sit out in the sun 'til it got warm and then my brother and I would take turns takin' a bath in the same water.We didn't really care who went first.
He sat there a minute or two soakin' it all in when he asked, "Just what is a number 3 washtub?"
I had to try and think of an example when I remembered how to tell him what a number 3 wastub was.
"You know that big round tub that your dad uses to catch the entrails in when he cleans a deer." He nodded.
"Well, that is a number 3 washtub that your daddy uses."
He began to laugh and he ran into the other room yelling to his mother, "Hey, Mom, did you know Papaw used to bathe in a gut bucket back in the old days."
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. If I had known they were going to be called gut buckets I might have been a little more squemish about bathing every week. I didn't tell him that we just did that on Saturdays.
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To watch my movies go to the upper right corner and click on BO LUMPKIN MOVIES.

Seeing Spots

Friday, August 15, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
I've been noticing people for a long time and one thing I have discovered is that people have different standards of living and a lot of time it has nothin' to do with income. I've known pore folk who kept their house spotless and I've known rich folk who couldn't find an empty spot to lay something down in a big old house where you think there would be plenty of space.
I was talking to old Doc and he was tellin' me that Bodie Barlowe brought his wife Claudette in the other day because she was feelin kind of run down. Doc said he examined her and all he could really tell was that she was nearly totally exhausted which I can believe. Livin' with Bodie and all their younguns, I ain't exactly sure how many they have, would be enough to wear anybody down. Doc said he went in to tell Bodie what the diagnosis was and he said, "Bodie, your wife don't look too good to me."
Bodie jumped in right there and said, "She don't look so good to me either Doc, but she's right good to me and the younguns."
Doc went on to explain that he meant health wise she didn't look so good and he told Bodie that she needed to get away from him and the kids so she could get some rest for a couple of weeks. Doc said Bodie was real understanding and he said he would send her up to her folks home in Tennessee for two weeks.
About halfway through the second week Lonzo came by and said he had been out to Bodie's place to buy a pig for a big barbecue they are going to have at his next fishin' tournament.He said in the two weeks that Claudette have been gone he don't reckon that Bodie or the younguns have cleaned up a thing. He knocked on the door when he got there and three pigs ran out the door. Lonzo asked, "Have you been lettin' them pigs stay in the house while Claudette was gone?"
"Yeah, I reckon I'll have to keep up out when she gets back thought." Bodie answered.
"Well you know keepin' the pigs in there ain't sanitary don't you?"
Bodie looked around his livin' room and said, "Yeah, it's a mess alright but I don't think it'll hurt them pigs none."
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. When Claudette gets back she ought to get her a two by four and help to raise Bodie's and them younguns standards a little.
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Hey New Video- I have a new video of a comic strip. Look at it and let me know how you like the format. Just go to the BO LUMPKIN MOVIES in blue at the top right corner of this page and click. When you get there you will see a folder that says Gatorhead on it. Click on that and then watch the one titled Comics1
Try it out and let me know how you like the format.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Most of us got where we are today by the decisions we made, either good or bad. Old Bodie Barlow is one of those people who started at the bottom and found out he kind of liked it there. Old Bodie moved here shortly after he got married to Claudette. I don't like to speak ill of nobody and someone once said there ain't no such thing as an ugly woman but I reckon they hadn't ever seen Claudette. I always kind of wondered how old Bodie ever ended up marryin' her and I finally found out the other day.
I saw old Bodie's truck sittin' under a shade tree and Bodie was in it and he seemed to be bad disturbed. He was just sittin' there starin' out the windshield and shaking his head and it seemed that he was just about to cry.
I got out and walked over to his truck to see if he was alright and after a minute he sniffed a time or too and said, "I reckon I'll be alright Bo. It's just that today's my 20th anniversary and it just got me to thinkin'."
I was a little confused, which ain't a real rare occurence around here and then he started to explain, "It's like this Bo.You know I ain't from around here. I'm from up in Tennessee and when I was a young man I kind of got myself in trouble with the law. Claudette's daddy was a judge. I didn't even know it at the time but Claudette had been sweet on me for awhile and her daddy would do just about anything to make her happy."
"As I said I was in trouble with the law and the Judge had a talk with me. He told me that I could go to jail for 20 years for what I had done but if I would marry Claudette he would get me off."
I didn't much know what to say, "Well I can guess what you decided to do by why are you all upset now after 20 years."
He couldn't hold it back any longer and he just bust out cryin' and said, "Cause even if I had to serve the whole 20 years I woulda been gettin out of prison today."
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
You know sometimes what we are seein' aint always what is happening. What I mean is we don't always know all the particulars of what's goin' on.
Last week Bro. Ben Shorter was on his way into town when he ran out of gas. He wasn't there very long when old Bodie Barlow who lives out in the country came by in his old pick-up truck.
He said he was in kind of a hurry to get home so he couldn't run the preacher to town to get gas but he would siphon some out of his truck if they could find something to put it in.
Old Bodie usually has a truck load of junk (he sells scrap iron in addition to his hog business) and you might find just about anything in it. It goes without saying that he had a siphon hose behind his seat but he didn't have a can or a jug of any kind. He finally rummaged around under all kinds of metal and junk and came out with a bed pan.
He looked it over real good and decided it was clean enough and it didn't have any holes in it and decided it would hold enough gas to get the preacher to town.
"Now preacher I've got to git goin' cause I need to git home and pick up Claudette. She's got a doctor's appointment cause she's been feelin' kinda run down lately. I will siphon this bed pan full of gas and I got a funnel here and you can pour it in your tank. I know you don't want that gas smell in your car so when you get through just leave the old bed pan and the funnel over there by that stump and I'll pick it up later."
Old Bodie siphoned the bed pan full of gas then jumped in his truck and drove off leaving the preacher there with that funnel and bed pan full of gas. Just as he was pouring the gas into the funnel a car drove by and the driver saw the preacher filling his gas tank from a bed pan. He hollered out the window and said, "Now Preacher, that's what I call faith."
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. Not only can we not believe all we hear, sometimes we can't believe what we see either.
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To watch my movies go to the BO LUMPKIN MOVIES in the upper right hand corner of this page and click.


Monday, August 11, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'
Old Lonzo came in the other day, he'd been away at a bass fishin' tournament. He said he liked to take the scenic roads through the small towns when he travels. He says you miss too much on the interstate and I think he has a point. I asked him if he had seen anything interestin' this trip.
"Well," he said, "I pulled up to a little gas station out in the country and was fillin' up the tanks on my truck and on the boat and I noticed a house across the road. The driveway was full of cars and they were all parked up and down the road on both sides and men were walking around to the back of the house toward the barn. Bein' the curious sort and not the least bit bashful as you know, I asked the man at the station what all the traffic was about."
"He said that the man across the road had a big old black angus bull that was mean as the dickens and it had busted through the fence and attacked the man's mother-in-law and killed her."
"I just nodded and said, "They must be havin' a memorial service over there."
"He shook his head and said, 'Naw, they havin' an auction. Every man in the county is tryin' to buy that bull."
I didn't ask Lonzo if he bid on the bull. I think some things are just better left alone.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'
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Friday, August 8, 2008



Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
I really don't know if fishermen make the best liars or liars make the best fishermen but it sure seems like it's hard to find one without the other. I reckon if all fisherman are liars then a commercial fisherman is the closest thing you can find to a professional liar (besides a politician) that you can find.
Old Odis Walker is a commercial fisherman that lives down by the river in an old school bus and about the only time you can tell when he ain't tellin' the whole truth is when he says something.I made the mistake of mentioning big catfish and that lit his fuse.
"I was down in the a river one night, back in '63 I think it were, and I was jug fishin'. I had been to a pond I knew about and caught some great big goldfish to use for bait because I knew where there was one deep hole that had to be holdin' some big ole catfish.
I baited up about ten jugs and throwed out upstream from that big old hole and waited for them to drift through that deep hole. I was using gallon jugs cause I feared if I used anything smaller that them big fish would just pull my jugs under and it would take all night to wear 'em out were I could get them in the boat. I had a big old 5 gallon plastic can with a lid on it and just 'cause I had it I tied a strong line on it with the biggest hook I had and I baited with the biggest goldfish in my bait barrel. I throwed it out and it bein' bigger it got to that big old hole before the others.
About the time it drifted halfway through that hole I saw the end of it tip up and then I couldn't believe it, that whole five gallon bucket went out of site. I jist knowed that I must have caught a gator or somethin' else. I clean forgot all them other jugs and just went to watchin for that one.
Next time I saw it the thing was headed up the river. I had been drifting with the jugs so I had to crank up the motor and turn the boat around to catch up with it. It would go under for a spell then it would pop back up again and it would turn and go down the river and then back up the river. It didn't ever hardly leave that deep hole it was in to start with.
I chased that old can for about three hours and then I recon that fish just got plumb wore out because it couldn't pull that five gallon bucket under no more. It still swum around pullin' it for another hour before I tried to pull it in the boat. When I grab aholt of it I knew that it was a biggun. I was glad the fight had done plumb gone out of it because it was heavy enough without puttin' up no fight.
I pulled on that line and I knew I was near the end of the line because I knew how much line I had tied on it. I finally got to a point and the fish just stopped coming like it was hung on somethin'. I tied the line around the boat seat and shined my light over the side of the boat to see if I could see what it was hung on. When I shined that light over all I could see was just one big old eyeball. I was real quick to shine the light on the other side of the boat and you'll never guess what I saw over there."
I couldn't resist so I asked him, "What did you see on the other side of the boat Odis?"
"The other eye." he grinned.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', if Odis ever gets tired of fishin' he might ought to try politics.
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Thursday, August 7, 2008


One of the good things about livin' in a small community like Gatorhead is that everybody knows everybody else. One of the bad things about living in a small community is that everybody knows everybody else. A lot of the people in the community are kin and some folks say that the gene pool ain't real deep.

Another thing about a small community is that you can still get someone to leave their place of business to come out and fix things. Bernice who owns and operates the Perty Primp beauty and barber shop is as nice as she can be but sometimes things just come to her a little slower than they do other people. She does a real good job with hair but technical things give her pretty much leave her confused.

She was on her way to the beauty shop the other day and pulled up to the stop sign and her engine died. She tried to crank it until she almost ran her battery down and finally decided to call Scoot, owner and cheif mechanic at Scoot's Repair Shop. Scoot jumped in his old tow truck to go see what the problem was. Scoot insists that you call it a tow truck and not a wrecker, "I tow a lot of people but it ain't my intent to wreck nothin'."

When he got to the stop sign Bernice was just standin' beside the car lookin' frustrated. Scoot and her exchanged cordial greetings and Scoot slipped behind the wheel to see what happened when he tried to crank it. It sounded fine and he looked down and saw that the gas guage was past empty.

"Bernice," he said, "You have done completely run out of gas. It don't look like you have a drop in the tank."

Bernice looked real concerned, "Will it tear it up to run it like that?"

It was all Scoot could do to keep from losing it but he contained himself real well, "Naw, I've got some in the truck to get you down to the Grab Sum Grub but it'll run a whole lot better if you go ahead and fill it up."

I guess Scoot realized he better not make fun of her. He was needin' a haircut pretty soon and if he hurt her feelin's or made her mad he might be the one gettin' laughed at.

I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'

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Wednesday, August 6, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.

We really need to take time to instruct our younguns in what is right and what ain't. We hear a lot about education and spendin' more money for it and all that but I reckon some of the best education in the world don't cost nothin' but spendin' a little time with a youngun' and answerin' his questions. They are usually pretty smart til society gets ahold of 'em and fills their heads with strange ideas. Most of the time if you just help them along a little they have enough common sense to figure most things out for themselves. One thing you have to teach them is that there ain't near as much danger in what people don't know as there is in what they know that just ain't so.

Boomer came by the other day and Boomer is either full of information or he's full of questions. Either way it is a good day for an old codger like me when I get a chance to sit down and chat with Boomer. It just so happened that when he came by last time he was ponderin' on some of the deeper questions that stump a lot of folks. He had heard some grown people discussin' evolution. It had pure stumped him. Just remember when you think a youngun ain't payin' any attention to what you say, you are probably flat out wrong.

"Just what is the theory of evolution, anyway, Uncle Bo?" He asked.

They don't hardly ever just ask the easy ones. I sat there quiet for a few seconds and then decided just to tell him the best I knew how. "Well Boomer, some folks think the whole world just happened and man started out as some kind of germ or something and just continued to get better. He finally got to be a lizard, then he got to be a bird, then he got to be some other animal, then he got to be a monkey, then he got to be a caveman, and then he got to be like us. Basically they say that men came from Monkeys."

"That's what I thought but it don't make no sense to me."

I was glad to hear that, "Yeah, even scientist admit since there ain't no cavemen still around that there is a missing link in their theory."

"Yeah, I can see where that would bother them but it ain't just the lack of cavemen that makes it seem wrong to me."

I kind of wondered what he was gettin' at so I encouraged him to explain.

"If all them things was supposed to change into something else over a period of time why did they quit changing. It don't seem to me like there is one missing link but it looks like the whole chain done come apart. I guess the easiest way to put it is, If man came from monkeys why are there still monkeys?"

I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. If some of these smart scientists would sit down with a few eight year old boys they might eventually come up with some answers to some age old questions. I'm thinkin' about gettin' Boomer to start some heavy thinkin' about this global warmin' thing.

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Tuesday, August 5, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.

It sure has been hot out there the last few days but I just think it has more to do with it being summer than with global warming. There have always been heat waves and droughts and other long spells of bad weather. Odis Walker was telling me about the hottest summer he could remember. "Well, we had a terrible winter that year. It had got so cold that one our two mules had froze to death and we were kind of glad the warm weather had come. Zeke was the mule who froze and the mule who was left was named Buck. Buck seemed to really miss old Zeke and it was just like a person who loses somebody close mournin' fer 'em.
He warn't much good for plowin' or no kind of farm work after Zeke died because he just didn't seem to be in the mood for it. We even borrowed a mule to hook up beside him and try to get him back to workin' but he wouldn't allow us to put the harness on the other mule. Every time we would try he would just turn and bite the other mule. We finally just gave up on him.
When it got hot summer we just kind of left old Buck alone, just hopin' he would get over his mournin' in time to pull the wagon for harvest. We hit a long hot spell where it got to be over a hunnert ever day for about three weeks and it was to where couldn't nobody stand to be out in. We put old Buck in the barn so he would at least be out of the sun. We had stored some popcorn in the loft of the barn and it got so hot that the popcorn started poppin' and drifting down through the cracks.
I reckon old Buck, being in the state of mind he was, was remembering the snow storm that killed old Zeke. When that popcorn started poppin' and fallin' through the cracks in that loft old Buck thought it was another snowstorm and he layed down right there in that barn and froze to death."
I guess I have told you that old Odis can spin a windy with the best of them.

I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin':

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Friday, August 1, 2008


Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Some folks just seem to go out of their way to pick at the preacher. We are lucky to have one with a good sense of humor and I kind of appreciate the fact that he is able to give back as good as he gets. One instance comes to mind right off. One morning not too long ago Bro. Ben Shorter woke up early and went out to get his paper.
It was still a little dark and he could make out that there was something big in his yard right out next to the road. He walked over to get a closer look and it was a dead donkey.
It was still too early for anyone to be in the county offices so he went on in and had his coffee and breakfast. He waited until about 8 o'clock to call but he wanted to call before too late so all the county workers wouldn't be out on jobs already. He called and got the foreman on the line. "This is Bro. Ben Shorter over at the Gatorhead Baptist Parsonage and I just wanted to call and let you know that there is a dead donkey in my yard right next to the road."
The foreman laughed and said, "I thought you were in the business of burying the dead." Bro. Shorter didn't even hesitate.
He just said, "That's true but we always try to notify the next of kin first." and then hung up the phone. They had that donkey gone off the parsonage yard first thing that morning.

I'm Bo Lumpkin, and I've been thinkin'.
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