WHERE'S JOE THE PLUMBER?

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
During the election we kept hearin' all about Joe the Plumber and what was goin' to be done for him. Since the election I ain't heard no more about Joe the Plumber than I have Sarah Palin.
With the downward spiral in real estate and people not buildin' new homes I can only speculate what could have happened to Joe the Plumber. I expect it could also be effecting Bill The Butcher, Ralph the Roofer, Carl the Carpenter, Paul the Painter and everyone except for Bob the Banker.
I have a funny feeling that Joe the Plumbers business went down the toilet due to the economy. He, being an honest and industrious sort is flipping burgers and working nights as a security guard but is still unable to keep up his mortgage payments, even though he was smart enough to get a fixed mortgage that a skilled worker like himself should have been able to afford.
He is very depressed as he watches the news and sees the big wig bankers getting bonuses while he awaits foreclosure.
I've been thinkin' why don't somebody interview Joe the Plumber now and ask him how he feels about the big shot bailouts the President and congress are handin' out like candy at Halloween. That's what I think, whatchall been thinkin. Ya'll leave me a comment of write me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.

Communication

ARGUMENTS

STAMINA

HARD TIMES

Hi, Im Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.

People have been fussin' and gripin' about the economy and how hard times are but Hollywood had a record year and the seats are still packed at over $100 per ticket for concerts and major sports events. They say that people need recreation and entertainment to get their minds off their troubles.
I remember when the farmers had a big crisis they had a big concert called Farm Aid and they have had big events to raise money for all sorts of disasters around the world.
What I've been thinkin' is that they could have a big sportin' event with all them CEO'S COO'S and all them other people whose job is an initial and if they made it interesting enough the public just might pay to see it. I think I would like to see all the highest executives in the Automobile industry take their best vehicles and have a demolition derby. At least it would let us know whose vehicle was best. I think a lot of people would pay to see that.
The biggest draw would be taking all them banking big wigs who got them bonuses and putting them all in a cage to fight it out. The last man standing would get to keep his bonus. I'd watch that on pay per view if I couldn't get there to see it in person.
This is kind of a fresh idea for me but I know some of you have been thinkin' too. If we've got a financial crises (and we shore enough do) then we are going to have to fix it. Congress has proved they don't know no more about finance than the investment companies.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. Whatchall think? Leave me a comment or write me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.

AM I MY NEIGHBOR'S KEEPER

BACKWARD OR FORWARD

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin' and I've been thinkin'.
I really like for folks to read my stuff and it's quite alright if you want to copy it and put it in an email and send it to all your friends. It would be alright even they wanted to forward it to all their friends. Just do me one favor, don't promise them anything, don't threaten them with dire circumstances, and don't try to guilt trip them into forwarding it.
I get a lot of good stuff forwarded or sent to me and I like a whole lot of it. Some of it is Christian material that I really get a blessin' out of until I reach the bottom and it says if you really love Jesus you will forward this to all your friends. I've got a news flash for you, I love Jesus, and it ain't got nothin' to do with forwardin' emails and I reckon Jesus don't want me trying to guilt trip others into loving Him either.
I get some patriotic material that questions my love of America if I fail to forward it to all my friends. Folks, I've been thinkin', one of the things I love about America is that it is a free country.
I get stuff that promises me good luck if I send it on or bad luck if I don't send it. Good Luck is two four letter words, I reckon you can replace them with two other four letter words and get the same results, Hard Work.
One last thing, Don't send chain text messages on cell phones. It usually don't mean anything and it uses up people's minutes. I got me a new phone and every hour or so someone who I don't even know sends me a text message. I have been wondering how to deal with this and have decided that if it persists I am going to publish their numbers (that's all I get is a number not a name) and then take out a few free adds asking people to call that number(preferably between midnight and 6 am. If enough people call them maybe they will get a new phone and change their number and lose mine.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. I appreciate ya'll readin' this and if you want to forward it to someone else its okay. If you don't I don't reckon it will hurt none and if you do it won't make you a better American, and by the way, I love Jesus and ain't no email or text message goin' to change that.

CPR NEITHER ONE

CHEAPER WAY

REAL BUSY

IS THAT REALITY

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Actually I've been doin' a lot of thinkin' and some talkin' to R.E. Cline (ya'll might have to try and picture that).
Old R.E. writes a guest column for me every once in awhile and he watches a lot of television and is somewhat of a TV critic. What we've been discussin' was who in the world watches the so called reality television shows.
Survivor was a pretty good concept for a summer fill in but this thing has been goin' on now for several years. Is anyone really watchin' that? I can't say much about the rest of the shows because I have never watched them. I don't care about a bachelor who tries to select a fiance from a couple of dozen desperate women.I don't care about people whose younguns don't know how to act so they have to bring in a Gestapo nanny.
What I really want is a good clean TV show with a plot or some entertainment. I can kind of enjoy the talent search shows but I do think some of these folks need to be weeded out before they humiliate themselves in front of the whole nation. When someone gets on one of these shows and tries to sing and he has a voice that sounds like a pine knot in a sawmill or a nail on a blackboard you have to believe if they have any friends at all someone would let them know they have no talent before they get that far.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', I guess that is enough of me gettin' in R.E.'s business and any way I've got to go. It's almost time for the Andy Griffith Show. Whatchall been thinkin'? Leave me a comment.

TO DEBATE

SOMEBODY HAS TO WATCH THEM

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. Seniority don't always mean a whole lot. Just cause someone has been around a long time don't mean they know more than everyone else. I've known lots of people who thought they had 30 years experience when really all they had was one year experience 30 times.
Boomer came by about lunchtime the other day and I offered him a sandwich. He ate it like he was starvin' and I gave him another one so he could eat it slow enough to taste a little. "You sure do seem like you are awful hungry," I said.
"Yes sir," he explained, "Mom's gone to a fishin' tournament with dad and Clymenestra is doin' the cookin' for us."
"Well," I asked, "Can't Clymenestra cook."
"No, sir, she must think the smoke alarm is the timer for her cooking."
I asked, "Are ya'll staying by yourselves while your parents are gone?"
"Yes sir, they said Arlis is 17 and Clymenestra is 13 and I'm 8 so we ought to be alble to take care of ourselves. I guess I had better get on home now."
"Are you afraid they'll worry about you?" I asked.
"No sir, I just don't like to leave 'em alone without somebody to watch after 'em."
I am Bo Lumpkin' and I been thinkin', sometimes in some groups the youngest might be the wisest. Whatchall think?

www.bolumpkin.com

Foreign Imports

Born Here

STIMULATION

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
I've been thinkin' about the way they are goin' about tryin' to stimulate the economy and it probably ain't goin' to work.
I've done a little figurin' and at 700 billion(that amounts to some real money) dollars with our current population of around 300 million people every man woman and child could get $2333.33 each. That would be a pretty good boost for a family of 4. There could be an agreement that any major purchases would have to be for American made products and services.
Some people say that would be impossible to enforce but you could put the money on one of those cards like they do food stamps and it would let you know if an item was eligible.
I reckon it might not work but it was just a thought. I don't reckon givin' it to them banks and automobile companies is goin' to work either.
One more thing, If they are goin' to extend unemployment benefits wouldn't it make sense to have them do a couple of days a week community service during the extension? That would still leave them most of the week to look for work.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. I certainly ain't got all the answers and I don't even understand some of the questions. Whatchall been thinkin? Ya'll leave me a comment or write me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.

What Happened?

CPR5

R.E. Cline here with your couch potato report. We all need CPR from time to time.
Well the dry spell is almost over. It's March and the NCAA tournament is almost ready to begin. I might survive if I can overcome the TMI (Too Much Information) syndrome that has engulfed me. Since the sports events have been limited and the commercials have been kind of bland- McDonalds does have a pretty good fillet of fish commercial- I have stooped to having to watch lots of news.
Since watching the news lately I have had an overdose of information on certain topics.
The woman who kept a chimpanze the size of a volkswagon as a pet and treated him like her child.
The woman who keeps having babies 6 or 8 at a time and how she is coping with the situation.
The economy!
The Presidents cabinet appointments and their tax problems.
The economic stimulus package that isn't stimulating the economy.
The Oscars.
I could probably think of a few more but the news is about to come on. If the tournament doesn't start soon I am afraid I will be watching C-span.
I'm R.E. Cline with your couch potato report.

Change

How do ya'll like the color?

DIRT FARMING

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Dirt farmin' ain't what it used to be. I remember when I was a youngun' growin'up we used to talk about people who were just poor old dirt farmers. Sometimes we would make the joke that the reason they were poor was that there just wasn't a market for dirt since the world was made of it.
I have a feeling now that dirt farmers might not be so poor anymore. My wife was potting some flowers and said she needed some potting soil and topsoil for the flowers. I said, "Fine, the world is made of dirt you should be able to find plenty right out there in the yard."
"That's not what I need. I want you to go down to the feed and seed store and buy me a bag of topsoil and a bag of potting soil."
I recognized the look that she gave me and decided not to make any comments. I just went to the feed and seed store and bought the dirt. It came packed in plastic bags with nice printin' on the outside and after I saw the price I knew why they spared no expense on the packaging. I drove home and put the two bags of dirt on the porch and went inside. I turned and stared out the window at the fallen leaves and the rich black soil beneath them on my lot.
I must have been thinkin' for awhile because my wife asked me why I was standin' there and starin' out the window. I answered, "I was just wonderin' where they get them plastic bags that they put that dirt in to sell."
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin' that dirt farmin ain't what it used to be. I reckon that if you put about anything in a plastic bag with nice print you can sell it for a profit. Whatchall been thinkin?
Leave me a comment or send me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.

Temptation

Can't Afford

HAVE A LOOK

AMERICAN IDLE

JUST A REMINDER

Don't forget to check out Rambler's blog by clicking on it on the right side of the page. Also you can go into my profile and see the other blogs I follow and just click on them. Thank you all for all your comments. Thanks to the stat counter on the side of the page I am learning that I am picking up new readers from all over the country. I want to welcome you and I hope you will enjoy the humor and leave some comments.
Thanks Bo.

HOSPITAL FOOD

DON'T GET MUCH BETTER

PUT IT BACK

SINCERITY