Friday, December 14, 2012

The Right Tool

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
 I've been telling y'all about Leonard Gilmore and his adventures in the city as a garbage collector. He really had some yarns to tell.  When we first started talking he mentioned bein' homeless and I  asked him about it.
 "Well, when I first got to the city I went to work as a bouncer in one of them exclusive night clubs where they don't let just anybody in."
 I didn't doubt that none since Leonard had always been a big old boy who didn't mind a scrap one bit. He went on with his story, "Well, I was mindin' the door one night when this guy wanted in and didn't have no pass. I told him he couldn't get in and he ups and kicks me in the chest and walks on in. He bowed to the crowd of folks and said,' Kung Fu from China,' and the whole crowd laughed."
 "I just straightened up and went back to mindin' the door and the same thing happened later with another feller only he bowed to the folks and said,' That's Karate from Korea,' and they all laughed again."
 It seems like this was startin' a trend because then a little fellow just walks up, grabs my wrist, and throws me to the ground. He bowed to them clubbers and said," That's Judo from Japan,' and they all laughed again."
 "Well by then I'd done got plumb fed up so I got another feller to relieve me at the door and I went to my truck to get a little help. When I went inside all three of them fellers was sittin' at the bar just laughin' and jokin' and high fivin' each other and just havin' a big old time. I walked up behind them and about the time they looked up and saw me in the mirror-blap-blap-blap- and all three of them hit the floor and layed there in a pile. I might not have got fired if I hadn't turned to the crowd and bowed and said, 'Lug Wrench from Ace Hardware."
Well, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'" I know Judo, Jujitsu, Karate, and a few other foreign words but there just ain't no substitute for a good tire tool. Whatchall been thinkin'?

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