Me Wrong?

New Character- Mildred

WE NEED GRIT

Hi I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
The other day in church a young man came up to me and showed me a flower catalog and said he was selling flower seeds for school. I told him that I didn't grow flowers I liked them wild and free. He said that was okay, they had other seeds too. I bought what I thought was three tomato plants for $10. The picture was beautiful and the plants looked like they would at least make $10 worth of tomatoes. When he delivered them they were still seeds only they were in some kind of dried dirt that you are supposed to add water too. I don't know if they will grow or not because they are still in my car.
I can remember when I was young, (I'm not going to tell right now about how tough it was back then. My sister does that better than I do.), there were ads in comic books (they are not around anymore either) for things you could sell and make money. Yes, kids were expected to do something to make their own "spending money".
Kids actually made money in a lot of ways. They mowed lawns, which was my preferred method. I used to cut so many yards wearing only a pair of cut off jeans that my tan and the grass stain on my feet would both last until after Christmas. Others would have paper routes and deliver the newspaper each day. We were not so noble in those days. We either kept the money we earned or helped out our folks with it. The schools which provided a pretty good education could get along without our fundraisin'.
There was a National paper you could sell and make money. It was called "Grit". I never sold them because I was too busy cutting grass but every time I see a youngun ask their parents to buy them somethin' I think of that paper. A way for a youngun' to make their own money.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', maybe what we need in this country is more "Grit". More younguns learnin' the value of a dollar and earnin' it for themselves so that when they get older and own their own bank or business they won't expect the government to bail them out.
Whatchall been thinkin'? You can send me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com or you could just click on comments and leave me one. It's real easy.

ELECTRONIC AGE

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
One of the things I've been thinkin' a lot about and I done wrote about it several times is the economy. I keep hearin' that we have a worldwide financial crisis.
All week the President and First Lady have been sashayin' all over Europe, meetin' with the Queen and conferencing with other Presidents, Kings, Dictators and Potentates. Just to put it in simple terms it looks like to me that the world is goin' down the tubes financially and all the world leaders are jet settin' all over the world and Partyin' like rock stars.
Do you reckon ain't none of them or the people they got workin' for them ever heard of teleconferencing. Shoot I got a little old $300 netbook computer that has a web-cam and I could talk to folks face to face all over the world if I just knew how to use it, and I will figure it out. They ought to know of someone in the government who could set up a thing like that and then they wouldn't have to haul 5 or 6 hundred people all over the world and feed 'em and put 'em up in hotels and all.
I don't like to be one to complain but I just think a little common sense should go with the job of leadin' our country. As the old sayin' goes if a man will watch his millions his billions and trillions will take care of themselves. I just want to say to all the world leaders, Hey, ya'll just pick up the phone and reach out and touch each other. If you don't agree instead of walkin' out of a meetin' you can just hang up.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. Whatchall been thinkin'? Leave me a comment or write me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.
Notice! I have been sending some of my stuff to different ones by email. If you would like me to take you off my mailin' list just send me an email and tell me to stop it. I shore don't want to bother nobody.

BACKWARD OR FORWARD

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin' and I've been thinkin'.
I really like for folks to read my stuff and it's quite alright if you want to copy it and put it in an email and send it to all your friends. It would be alright even they wanted to forward it to all their friends. Just do me one favor, don't promise them anything, don't threaten them with dire circumstances, and don't try to guilt trip them into forwarding it.
I get a lot of good stuff forwarded or sent to me and I like a whole lot of it. Some of it is Christian material that I really get a blessin' out of until I reach the bottom and it says if you really love Jesus you will forward this to all your friends. I've got a news flash for you, I love Jesus, and it ain't got nothin' to do with forwardin' emails and I reckon Jesus don't want me trying to guilt trip others into loving Him either.
I get some patriotic material that questions my love of America if I fail to forward it to all my friends. Folks, I've been thinkin', one of the things I love about America is that it is a free country.
I get stuff that promises me good luck if I send it on or bad luck if I don't send it. Good Luck is two four letter words, I reckon you can replace them with two other four letter words and get the same results, Hard Work.
One last thing, Don't send chain text messages on cell phones. It usually don't mean anything and it uses up people's minutes. I got me a new phone and every hour or so someone who I don't even know sends me a text message. I have been wondering how to deal with this and have decided that if it persists I am going to publish their numbers (that's all I get is a number not a name) and then take out a few free adds asking people to call that number(preferably between midnight and 6 am. If enough people call them maybe they will get a new phone and change their number and lose mine.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. I appreciate ya'll readin' this and if you want to forward it to someone else its okay. If you don't I don't reckon it will hurt none and if you do it won't make you a better American, and by the way, I love Jesus and ain't no email or text message goin' to change that.

IS THAT REALITY

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Actually I've been doin' a lot of thinkin' and some talkin' to R.E. Cline (ya'll might have to try and picture that).
Old R.E. writes a guest column for me every once in awhile and he watches a lot of television and is somewhat of a TV critic. What we've been discussin' was who in the world watches the so called reality television shows.
Survivor was a pretty good concept for a summer fill in but this thing has been goin' on now for several years. Is anyone really watchin' that? I can't say much about the rest of the shows because I have never watched them. I don't care about a bachelor who tries to select a fiance from a couple of dozen desperate women.I don't care about people whose younguns don't know how to act so they have to bring in a Gestapo nanny.
What I really want is a good clean TV show with a plot or some entertainment. I can kind of enjoy the talent search shows but I do think some of these folks need to be weeded out before they humiliate themselves in front of the whole nation. When someone gets on one of these shows and tries to sing and he has a voice that sounds like a pine knot in a sawmill or a nail on a blackboard you have to believe if they have any friends at all someone would let them know they have no talent before they get that far.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', I guess that is enough of me gettin' in R.E.'s business and any way I've got to go. It's almost time for the Andy Griffith Show. Whatchall been thinkin'? Leave me a comment.

STIMULATION

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
I've been thinkin' about the way they are goin' about tryin' to stimulate the economy and it probably ain't goin' to work.
I've done a little figurin' and at 700 billion(that amounts to some real money) dollars with our current population of around 300 million people every man woman and child could get $2333.33 each. That would be a pretty good boost for a family of 4. There could be an agreement that any major purchases would have to be for American made products and services.
Some people say that would be impossible to enforce but you could put the money on one of those cards like they do food stamps and it would let you know if an item was eligible.
I reckon it might not work but it was just a thought. I don't reckon givin' it to them banks and automobile companies is goin' to work either.
One more thing, If they are goin' to extend unemployment benefits wouldn't it make sense to have them do a couple of days a week community service during the extension? That would still leave them most of the week to look for work.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. I certainly ain't got all the answers and I don't even understand some of the questions. Whatchall been thinkin? Ya'll leave me a comment or write me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.

HOSPITAL FOOD

Called To The Ministry

CELL PHONES

Hi ya'll, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I been thinkin'.
I reckon I'm one of the last people in Kudzu County to get me a cell phone. I got one of them pay as you talk deals that costs me an average of $10 dollars a month. If I am in the car and it rings I usually have to pull over to the side so I can talk. Sometimes I have to tell the caller to wait until I can find a place to pull over and I will call him back. I reckon I just ain't gifted enough to multitask while I should be drivin'.
The scary part about all that is I'm afraid there are a lot of other people who can't drive and do something else as well as they think they can.
I can see the usefulness of a cell phone (enough that I bought one myself)but I think some folks go overboard. I see folks at six o'clock in the morning at an intersection and they are talkin' on the cell phone. Who do you talk to at six o'clock in the mornin' on the phone? Who is so important for someone to talk to that they have to carry on cell phone conversations with them in public restrooms. Just some advice from old Bo, "There are some things you do that you really don't need no company for."
I saw a group of younguns once and they were all sitting around but none of them were talkin'. They were all poking the keys on their cell phones. I thought they were playin' some kind of video game until someone explained text messagin' to me. The funny thing about it was they was text messagin' people right there in the same room with them. You don't reckon people are going to completely forget how to talk do you?
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', I do have a cell phone but I ain't about to start learnin' how to text message. I know I've been gittin' in some of your business on this one so it's fine if you want to leave me a comment and let me know whatchall been thinkin' (or textin'). Write me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.

News From Gatorhead II

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. Here are some more tidbits from Gatorhead.

A lady from another church called Bro. Ben to visit her sick husband in the hospital. Bro. Ben went to see him even though he had a very contagious disease. After the visit Bro. Ben wondered why she had called him so he asked, "Is your pastor out of town." She answered, "No but we really love him and didn't want to expose him to such a dreaded disease."

The little girl at a wedding asked her mother why the bride was dressed completely in white. The mother answered, "Because it is a joyful ocassion filled with happiness and hope for her.""Then why is the groom dressed in black," she asked.

A friend of mine at the University said they were going to start offering a course in Psycho-ceramics. That is the study of crackpots. I reckon there ought to be a waitin' list for that one.

I was down at the Grab Sum Grub drinkin' a Yoohoo the other day and Sherrif Rupert P. Rhondo, and Deputy Dudley Dinkins was havin' a little argument. Seems like Dudley had given a ticket to one of the locals for failing to give a signal when they turned. The sherrif was pretty upset, "Now Dudley, I've always told my deputies not to give any tickets for failure to give a signal if the driver is local. Everyone around here knows where everyone else is goin' so there ain't no use in them givin' a signal."

I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'. Why don't ya'll let everyone know whatchall been thinkin' too. Leave a comment, and even if you don't leave a comment you should at least read 'em. Sometimes there are some good ones.

Knows Everything

Clean Air

SHAKE IT OFF

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.

We had a little catastrophe in Gatorhead the other day. Old Hoss, Burt's horse fell in an old abandoned well. Ya'll probably know Hoss from his comics with Sarge. Burt thinks a lot of Old Hoss but he figured that he was probably hurt and would have to be put down anyway so he called a bunch of us together and said he felt the most humane thing to do was to just go ahead and bury Old Hoss in the well.
Someone asked him if he planned on shootin' Old Hoss to make sure he didn't suffer but Burt said he just didn't have the heart to do it. He figured he would just go ahead and bury him. None of the rest of us had much of a heart to shoot him either, what with him bein' retired from the fire department and all so we all said we'd pitch in to help fill the well as quick as possible.
We all began shovelin' dirt in that old well and we could hear Hoss just shake every time a a shovel full of dirt landed on his back. Hoss didn't seem to be too awful scared and someone shined a light down the well to see what was goin' on down there.
We was all surprised to see every time a shovel full of dirt would land on the back of Hoss he would just shake it off and step up, shake it off and step up. He did that until the well was full and he just stepped right out of that well, shook off what dirt was left and went over to the water trough and got a drink.
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin, if we would handle the dirt that gets throwed at us like Old Hoss, just shake it off and step up, we wouldn't be nearly as likely to be buried under our problems.
Ya'll leave me a comment or send me an e-mail. I sure do like hearin' from you. Email me at bolumpkin@gmail.com or bo@bolumpkin.com. It wouldn't hurt my feelin's any if ya'll e-mailed this to your friends either.

HEAVY

Eatin' Habits

CARTOON CRISIS

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
Ole R.E. Cline, our couch potato reporter read my article "Learnin' To Read" lamenting the demise of real "Comic Books". He says they ain't all that todays younuns are missin'.
COUCH POTATO REPORT- CARTOON CRISIS
I can remember when Saturday mornings and every afternoon TV was geared to children. There were cartoons, real cartoons, not this Pokemon and Digimon garbage. What's up with all the people having pointed chins and ears. Haven't their artist ever seen normal people.
Network television is almost completely devoid of real cartoons. Theirs are all dragons or characters that look like they were made for Public Broadcasting.
What happened to "Bugs Bunny", "Tom and Jerry", "Popeye" and all the other good stuff. I know you can find some of this on the Cartoon Network sandwiched between the twenty four hour marathons of "Scooby Doo", but why should parents have to buy cable or a satellite for their children to get to watch decent cartoons.
This is America People, we are supposed to own the airwaves. Just because cartoons can be seen on expensive cable and satellite stations does not mean that the major Networks don't have an obligation to provide decent cartoons for the rest of us.
I miss "Yogi Bear" and especially "Boo Boo." I may be a couch potato without cable but that doesn't mean I should be discriminated against. I would sit down and write a letter to the FCC and complain about the situation but that might make me miss the next infomercial on my favorite network.
I'm R.E. Cline with the Couch Potato Report.

Since I haven't been able to post much the last week I am adding a comic today too. Check out the one below.

Thank ya'll so much for the comics and the feed back. When I get a chance I want to share some of the feedback with ya'll so keep checking.

Write me at bo@bolumpkin.com

Sirens and Excitement

LEARNIN'