LEARNING NEW THINGS

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
When some folks want to learn somethin' they look it up on the internet, others use an encyclopedia, and I reckon those are good ways to find things out. As for me I usually just go down to the Grab Sum Grub and either sit and drink a cup of coffee or a YooHoo and listen. You can learn a lot of things from just sittin' listenin' to the regulars.
Lonzo was pickin' at one of the men who was goin' bald. He just had a fringe of hair around the edge of his head over his ears. Lonzo said, If you want to get rid of that bald spot you need to start rubbing the top of your head with green persimmon juice."
The balding man asked, "Will that cause you to grow hair?"
"Naw," Lonzo smiled, "But it will shrink your scalp and draw the hair on each side of your head up to the middle so they meet."
We all had a good laugh (but I never did take my hat off and I was wondering where I could find some green persimmons).
Lonzo and Maybelle have been doing some remodeling. He decided he was going to have some say so in the decorating and he went to the hardware store to pick out some wall paper.
"What color did you get?" one of the regulars asked.
"They wouldn't sell me none." Lonzo said. "They said that I would have to have a note from my wife for the wallpaper I had picked out."
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', I wouldn't even dream of makin' decisions on decoratin' at my house. Whatchall been thinkin? Ya'll leave me a comment of send me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com and let me know.

Another Change

JUST ONE THING

Hi, I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin'.
I was talking to Old Odis Walker the other day and we were discussin' sports. We were talking about how fast that swimmer was in the Olympics that won all those medals. I said that I reckoned he was the fastest swimmer in the world.
"That ain't so,"Old Odis said. "I know a feller that could swim circles around him. At least he could one time anyway."
I'm always a little skeptical of what Odis says but I figured that I'd go ahead and ask, "Who was that?"
"It was a Cajun feller named Beaudreaux. I know he could swim faster than that Olympic feller because I saw him do it one time."
I didn't have to encourage Old Odis to tell the story because he was lookin' for an opportunity anyway.
"We was at this big party one night at a rich mans house just outside Baton Rouge. We was all gathered around the pool and he was cookin' all kind of Cajun food on the grill and everybody was havin' a great time. I had noticed that no one was in the pool so I looked over in and and saw why. He had two sharks and 3 big alligators in that pool. I stepped back real quick. The host saw me and laughed. He said he would give $50,000 dollars to anyone who would dive in and swim the length of the pool.'
"About that time I heard a splash and looked down and there was Beaudreaux. Them gators and sharks were all right behind him just nippin' at him and tryin' to catch him and he was swimmin' so fast they couldn't get through the wake he was leavin'. When he reached the far end of the pool he just seemed to sail over the edge without stoppin' and finally touched down about ten feet past the edge.'
"The host was plumb shocked and he said, 'Beaudreaux, I reckon I owe you $50,000 dollars.'
Beaudreaux said, 'I don't want it.'
"Well the host said, 'At least take half of that."
"I don't want that either"
"Well, at least let me buy you a new truck."
"Nope," Beaudreaux said, "I just want one thang."
The host said, "What is it you want Beaudreaux."
"I just want the name of the sorry feller who pushed me in that pool"
I'm Bo Lumpkin and I've been thinkin', I wonder if a few sharks and gators would give us some new world records at the Olympics. Whatchall been thinkin'? Leave me a comment or write me an email to bo@bolumpkin.com or bolumpkin@gmail.com.

SPEAKING PART

FOREIGN TV

Might Be

LIFE BEGINS AT 50